


Leadership Advice

by Butterfly



Series: Sheith Quote Week 2017 [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Sheith Quote Week 2017, post-s4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 08:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13050702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterfly/pseuds/Butterfly
Summary: "It wasn't quite anger and it didn't seem like fear, but something in the tilt of Shiro's head still made Keith feel as if he wanted to push back into his chair and disappear."





	Leadership Advice

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 1 of Sheith Quote Week 2017: #heislookingatKeith

Shiro was definitely looking at him again.

To everyone else, it probably seemed like Shiro's full attention was on the conversation between Princess Allura and Lotor, but Keith could feel Shiro's gaze like the press of a cold weight against his chest. Under the safety of his Marmora mask, Keith's mouth twitched slightly as he tried to assess Shiro's expression. It wasn't quite anger and it didn't seem like fear, but something in the tilt of Shiro's head still made Keith feel as if he wanted to push back into his chair and disappear. He kept his spine firmly straight and his face turned toward the potential threat of Lotor but he couldn't stop himself from sneaking looks over at Shiro.

Allura frowned at something Lotor said, so Keith did his best to bring his attention back to the matter at hand. He still wasn't sure if giving Lotor a hearing was a good idea, but it wasn't his call. Shiro and Allura had agreed and they were the ones in charge. Still, he hoped Allura wasn't buying what Lotor was selling. Even if he and his father really were at odds, Lotor had been in control of the Galra Empire for months while Zarkon was out of the picture. It wasn't safe to trust him. Keith was pretty sure Kolivan agreed with him - they'd spent enough time together that Keith had grown familiar with the set of Kolivan's shoulders when he was displeased.

After the initial meeting broke up, Hunk invited everyone to have a lunch-dinner meal together - to soften everyone up for even more talking afterwards, most likely. Keith said 'no' as politely as he could, glad that Kolivan was making his excuses as well. Neither of them were ready to lower their masks around Lotor just yet, it seemed. Keith drifted away from the group and walked aimlessly through the halls for a few minutes, startled when he found himself in front of his old room. Tentatively, he opened the door.

Everything was just as he'd left it. Well, of course, it was. He'd left to join the Blades, but Shiro had _said_ that he still had a place here. Still, Keith didn't try to fight the dull warmth in his heart. He sat down on the bed, releasing his mask with a sigh. He flicked through his memories of Shiro's expressions, trying again to pin down exactly what those glances earlier had meant. Shiro's face had been drawn, slightly, sharp around the edges somehow. He'd looked tired, but that wasn't all of it.

A knock at the door drew Keith out of his reverie and he made a face at the knife in his hands. He hadn't remembered taking it out.

"Keith, you in?" It was Shiro's voice.

Keith tucked away his knife before answering, "Uh, yeah."

The door slid open and Shiro edged into the doorway, his hands full with a plate of sandwiches and two of the juicepacks. Keith shifted over on the bed and Shiro sat down next to him, extending the juicepacks. Keith pushed back his hood, then took a juice and a sandwich. Shiro still had that tight expression on his face and Keith felt a punch of air escape him as he recognized it.

Disappointment.

Keith swallowed hard, followed it up with a sip of juice, wishing for his mask back. He tried to think of something he'd done to earn that look but he came up blank. He'd... he hadn't screwed up in the fight and Shiro had been looking at him like that from the very start of the meeting, so he couldn't be upset that Keith hadn't said anything.

He took a large bite out of the sandwich and sifted through more possibilities. He wasn't entirely sure, after another quick glance over, that the disappointment was directed at him. Maybe Shiro didn't trust Lotor any more than Keith himself did. Maybe he just didn't like the idea of Voltron owing Lotor anything. Keith certainly didn't. He chased down his next bite with a larger pull on the juice, swallowed again for good measure afterwards before saying, "Thanks. For the food and everything."

Shiro nodded absently.

Keith ventured, "You don't trust him either, right?"

Shiro snorted, placing the plate behind him on the bed and relaxing into more of a slouch. Keith felt his own spine unbend a little at that. Shiro tapped his juicepack against Keith's upraised knee and smiled at him. "Not for a second." The smile lightened up the tightness around his eyes but didn't make it go away. They ate together in silence for a while and the longer Shiro went without saying anything, the more Keith could feel tension leaving his body.

Keith finished eating before Shiro did, so he pulled his other leg up onto the bed and crumpled his empty juicepack in his hands as he eyed Shiro's steady bites of his own sandwich. When Shiro was done, he reached out a hand expectantly - Keith placed the smashed juicepack in it. Shiro put both the empty juices on the plate and set it on the floor, settling himself sideways on the bed, half-way facing Keith.

"I've got a question. One Black Paladin to another," Shiro said. Keith blinked at him, first pursing his mouth to object but then deciding to hear Shiro out before picking at his words. Shiro plucked at the hem of his pants and the tightness returned around his eyes. "A member of my team doesn't understand how important he is to the rest of us. Do you have any suggestions on how to make him realize how much he matters?"

Keith turned the question over in his head. He'd thought, what with him working full-time with the Blades now, that Lance wouldn't worry about his place in the team anymore. He hugged his leg as he considered possible answers. "I guess..." Keith hesitated. Lance had implied he felt like he wasn't as talented as the rest of them, hadn't he? So maybe there was a better approach involving that. "...you could tell him what he brings to the team that the rest of you can't. Maybe that would help."

"That's a good idea," Shiro said. "What else would you do?"

Keith looked down at his hands, though he didn't imagine his calluses had much to offer the conversation. He should just tell Shiro that he wasn't sure his advice was worth much - if Lance was still bothered about this, then Keith hadn't helped him last time.

Shiro was still looking at him, so Keith hazarded, "Maybe he doesn't feel as bonded to Red as he did to Blue. So... you could suggest that he try deepening the bond?" That weight on Keith's chest pressed down again at this suggestion, but he ruthlessly suppressed it.

"Hmm," was Shiro's only response to Keith's words.

Keith furrowed his brow, looking at Shiro again for some sign of what it was that Keith was missing here - because it was becoming clear that he'd missed something. "We're talking about Lance, right?"

Shiro sighed and he shook his head.

Keith hunted through his memories, trying to remember if Hunk had ever said or done anything that might make him the person Shiro was talking about. It couldn't be Allura or Pidge, from what he'd said. Then a potential realization hit Keith, "Coran?"

Shiro shook his head again, then added, bewilderingly, "Matt told me about your plan to deal with the battlecruiser."

Keith stared at Shiro for a long moment, then he blinked and asked, " _Me?_ You're worried about me?"

_But I'm not a Paladin_ , he almost added.

"It's all I've been able to think about since Matt told me," Shiro said, mouth downturned. Instinctively, Keith reached across the space between them to put a hand on Shiro's shoulder. He was rewarded with a small smile, but it quickly faded again into that tightness that Keith was coming to hate.

Keith marshaled up an array of responses and evaluated them.

_I didn't have time to tell you_ \- wouldn't work. Obvious lie.

_It was our only option_ \- manifestly untrue, though Keith had thought it was true at the time.

_It was the only thing I could think of_ \- true but unhelpful.

_I couldn't tell you, because I was afraid you would tell me to stop_ \- because if Shiro had, then Keith...

_I couldn't tell you, because I was afraid you wouldn't tell me to stop_ \- because if Shiro _hadn't_ , then...

"It's not that I don't think I matter," Keith said, carefully, because that was what Shiro had said he was worried about. "It's just that-" _you_ "-all those people matter more." He had barely hesitated there, but Shiro's eyes had flickered up all the same. Keith was tempted to pull his hand away again, but... but... he'd missed Shiro so much. He couldn't break the connection just yet. "I'm not a Paladin anymore, Shiro. I'm a Blade. That's how they do things. The mission matters more. It has to."

Shiro's hand came up and clasped Keith's where it was on Shiro's shoulder and he said, so fiercely that it made Keith's breath catch, "You didn't even say good-bye." The accusation seemed to startle Shiro even more than it did Keith, because Shiro immediately followed it up with, "Black didn't ever reject you. Neither did Red. You're still a Paladin to them. To me."

"Do you wish I'd said good-bye?" Keith asked, slowly, ignoring what Shiro had said about the lions, at least for now.

Silence hung in the air, and then-

"I wish you'd given me the chance to ask you not to do it," Shiro said.

"Oh," Keith breathed. Shiro's hand was clutching at his tightly now. Tentatively, he turned his palm over and grabbed Shiro back, leading both their hands down to rest on Shiro's thigh.

"I know I can't order you not to risk your life," Shiro said, his voice slightly hoarse. "Even when you were flying Red, you wouldn't have taken that order, but I... _Keith_ , if you'd died out there today, I don't know what I..." Shiro closed his eyes, and his knuckles were almost white where he gripped Keith's hand. It hurt a little, but the pain was distant and fuzzy. "You aren't replaceable. Not to me. There's not... there would just be a hole, and I don't-" Shiro's words broke off in a laugh, high and unpleasant. "I'm babbling. I can't even finish a thought. I just-"

Shiro kept talking but any more sound was lost against the press of Keith's mouth. For a wild and terrifying moment, Keith wondered if he'd made the wrong call, but then Shiro was kissing him back, and his hand broke free of Keith's, and then, for a while, they both lost track of time, of the war, and of everything else outside Keith's room.

**Author's Note:**

> This is short, but it's the first bit of writing I've posted since January 2016! I'm so thrilled to have my writing muse back. Hopefully, it will stick around. It's my first time writing VLD, but I've really been enjoying reading the fic and going through the tag, so I wanted to give a little something back.


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